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A Wicked Extreme Proposal… Better than Modest

Andres Mansisidor

James Sterling

English 1

Custom Essays on A wicked Extreme Proposal

March 5, 00


It is of great humiliation for those who walk the streets of this great country when they see the roads, town, and cities filled by the obese. The overweight people have taken much pride in their food, but little in their bodies. This has shook the country and will some day be the demise of the United States and maybe even the world. Obesity is lurking everywhere, even children now a days are starting into a chaotic frenzy of heaviness. This is a sad and bitter state for the nation and our people. For such a situation an idea of extreme intelligence must be brought forth and executed to end the fatness in this country. This proposal states that the obesity will be fought by a simple program funded and run jointly by the state and federal governments. The framework of the proposition will be set by certain exercise and eating practices. Since it is very difficult to enforce activities such as exercising and eating, the proposal brings these activities together in one activity in common interest among the people. For the past three decades sexual appeal has become the way of life, and it is with sexuality that obesity shall be combated. The battle against obesity shall be named operation liposuction of America.

The outline of the program will be as the following regulations and standards are to be met. All U.S. citizens between ages 10-40 must visit governmental doctors once a year for a check up. During this check up they will be tested on their physical health, and the standard for determining if one is obese will be the person’s body fat percentage. If the body fat of a person is above the set standard of 1.8 %, he or she must participate in the fat ending program called “You are to fat to go in public.” This program consists of an eight-hour session, which includes strict eating and exercising regiments. The session shall take place during the weekends throughout the year for persons 18 or older and not in school. For those persons who are still in primary and secondary educational institutions the sessions will take place on the weekends during the school year and all week for months during the summer. The exercises that shall be conducted during these eight hours sessions are a combination of different weight-losing classes and exercise in the form of sexual intercourse. The classes will be similar to the new, hip Tie-a-Bow exercises conducted by none other than the world famous Bobby Blanks. Throughout the duration of the sessions there will also be several meal times to replenish energy. The food that will be served are endorsed by none other than Lared, the Bubway sandwich guy. Lared’s sub sandwiches such as the peanut butter and bologna, marshmallow cream and salami, and the cheese sandwich will be served with the addition of a special sauce that will increase the sexual drive. The special sauce will contain the new-formulated drug, Myagra, in order to reach a new level of sexual drive and stamina (this drug is FDA approved). The program will also release other fruits, such as cantaloupe, and vegetables that are genetically engineered to ensure the program’s efficiency is high. The increase in sexual drive will better the results of the program by making the exercising part more effective. The program has also another step, which will be to introduce certain weight-loss or fitness classes such as bun and thigh class and seven-minute abs class into schools nationwide. Other regulations will be enforced by all forms of authorities. These regulations say that people who have not yet met the body fat percent standard are prohibited to operate a motor vehicle. If they need to travel they must use transportation in the form of bicycle, unicycle, or scooter (anything electric or motorized is illegal). If any persons disobeys this rule then he or she shall spend ten days in jail without a trial. If a person is over the age of twenty-five and he or she has not met obesity requirements, then the person is sent to prison until weight is lost (rule becomes effective five years after start of program). For persons over the age of forty there will be totally sweet dance classes run by the government to keep their body fat down, and the citizens who choose not to go choose to pay a fine of 68 gold schillings for each missed dance class (a doctors note may excuse them of fine). That is groovy.

The advantages of this program can be visualized very clearly and seen with such hope. The first and foremost advantage of such a program is the increase in health by the decrease of fat. Studies have shown that heart disease is prevalent in humongously fat people. This is so important to many people because heart disease is the leading killer in America, higher than cancer and murder. This program can and will save many lives to come.

Another benefit from a plan like this is the esteem of most Americans will rise. Year after year, day after day, a wicked, extreme amount of people get very depressed and loose confidence in their selves. Many of these people are also obese people; some people have gone so far as to kill themselves over their weight. Teen-agers across the states have been killing themselves left and right, and have not received a proper chance to live. As this program will climb to the top of the mountain and conquer everyone’s fatness, the United States will be able to maintain a population that is more sane and confident. As a confident nation, the country will be able to accomplish much more than it is capable of now.

The decline in teen pregnancy will be a significant and great advantage from the program. Most of the teens in the United States are participating in sexual activity increasing the likelihood of pregnancy and diseases. This program allows these teens to get their sexual energy out and channeled preventing these other catastrophes from happening. The challenge of ending such a horrible and unwanted problem can only be solved by itself.

An additional advantage to the program is that the athleticism in the United States will increase. The increase in athleticism will give America a better and more prosperous Olympic team. The United States will sweep every Olympic event and become completely dominant over all other countries. This is a great tool for increasing America’s power and peace.

Although there are so many great advantages to a national weight loss program there are also the negatives. The shortcomings of this program would be overpopulation, loss in economy, and loss in entertainment business. Eventually due to the overwhelming success in the health of the nation people would start living longer and longer. An increase in the life expectancy of a person would create overpopulation and the endangerment of resources. It would also hurt the economy badly as there are many specific businesses that depend on fat people. Businesses like these provide loads of money in taxes to the government. Another downfall would be the loss of fat people in entertainment. Entertainment would be very lost without the characters of fat people and could ultimately lead the demise of the country. Where would the country be without good entertainment? The loophole of course to such a plan is that the creators of this plan are very fat themselves. Many Americans might be tempted to ask how can these people criticize fat people if they are fat. There are some situations that pose a potential threat to the plan by their impact on today’s society

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